Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Grace for Here and There, facing reality

Sermon notes from May 30, 2009

“Grace for Here and There, facing reality” by Pastor Don
John 8
Will add mp3 link to sermon to download

In order for grace to be understood, it has to be experienced. Grace is what the Religious Leaders of Jesus day did not have, nor did they extend it.

About the Religious Leaders in this Bible story
a.) they ignored certain parts of reality. They had to ignore the reality of the situation (with the woman caught in the act of adultery). Such as the part of reality that, if she were caught in ‘the very act’ then where is the other guilty party?
b.)-at that time in history, they were under Roman rule and that specific Old Testament law they were trying to use was not even being enforced.
c.)-their motive was to trap Jesus.

My thoughts related to above sermon notes:
About the Religious Leaders in this story
a.) they ignored certain parts of reality. This is very true of adoption agencies…they focus only on the ‘obvious joy’ an adopted child brings to the adopting family. Yet they blatantly ignore two very real parts of reality.

1-The first reality they ignore is the reality of the original family…the original mother does not walk away and go on with her life as they preach. Losing her child causes her to struggle with her view and trust of God, it causes her to struggle with depression, it erodes her self worth.

Often she denies her true feelings, because (especially early on) she believes only the positive side of adoption like the professionals told her. This creates an inner turmoil that often stays hidden. The adoption professionals told her that she was brave and selfless and it was a loving choice to give her child more than she could. This conflicts with what she really is feeling inside and she wonders why she feels so bad about having done something so supposedly wonderful.

These emotional issues for her go undetected; therefore unaddressed often for years. Often it isolates her. She does not talk about her feelings and denies them because she rationalizes that it must just be something wrong with her that she feels so sad, depressed, and unhappy. It greatly affects her school/job, and her relationships with others and she doesn’t even realize it. It also affects her parenting later in life if she is even able to have another child.

This is all very opposite of the ‘fake’ picture adoption professionals paint. In this way they are like the Religious Leaders.

2-The second reality they ignore is the reality of the losses to the child. As science and medicine become more advanced each day, we are also becoming more and more educated on the growth of a child in the womb. We’re amazed to learn of how much the child is ‘aware’ of before birth. When a child is born, it is obvious they know the sound and sight of his/her mother. As the child grows, it learns through the genetic mirroring how to utilize the natural gifts, talents, and strengths they’re wired with. The DNA of the child is not a misunderstood mystery when being raised with original family.

Yet when it comes to adoption, the adoption professionals continue to tout the outdated myth that a child is a blank slate at birth. Medicine and science have proven the blank slate idea to be false yet they still speak it as if it’s truth. Therefore, in this way they are like the Religious Leaders.

b.)-at that time in history, they were under Roman rule and that specific Old Testament law they were trying to use was not even being enforced. This point is very valid as a comparison with Adoption. However; it applies to not just the adoption professionals, but to the the use of Bible Verses by people who want to adopt (PotentialAdoptingParents – PAPS). In the Bible lesson in John, the point was that they were using the Scripture only for their own advantage.

So often people talk about how God “Led Them to Adopt,” then they use scriptures out of context to back them up or to make themselves feel better. Often when people pray in desperation they hear their own desires or ideas and ‘claim’ them as God’s divine direction. Why would God lead them to pay a lot of money to buy an infant and take him/her from the original parent(s) when it’s not necessary, when they could use that money to benefit a local orphanage? If they’re listening to God’s leading, how often do they visit any of those orphans? Or care for the widows or elderly – as Jesus clearly instructed His followers to do. Why? It is possible that God is trying to lead them a different direction, but they are listening to the voices of their own heart and using God at their convenience?

Adoption was not “ordained” by God as I’ve heard Christians falsely claim. There are only two example of infant adoption in the entire Bible. If Adoption was as ‘important’ to God as people claim, why aren’t there more examples recorded over a period of 4 thousand years? Since the Scripture is Divinely Inspired and breathed by the Holy Spirit, why are there only two examples of infant adoption vs all the examples and outright commands to care for widows, or orphans, or the sick, or those in prison, or those who are being taken advantage of?

First of the two ‘infant adoption”examples is Moses. However his ‘adoption’ does not at all reflect or portray Adoption as it is known in our society. The whole reason Moses was raised by another family was that his life was literally in danger. It was not because his Hebrew family was poor. He was in danger of being killed. Adoption should only be an option when a child is in danger of real harm. It is interesting to note that Moses rebelled against the ‘family’ that parented him. This is the Bible’s example.

The other example is that of Samuel. But again it is very contrary to Adoption as our society knows it. Ponder, who was Samuel’s Original Mother? She was a married infertile woman who desperately begged God for a child. That is opposite of PAPS who are trying to find a single woman and take her newborn infant as her own. Ponder, who was Samuel raised by? He was NOT raised by a loving couple. He was raised by an old man who was NOT looking for a child to parent. Two strikes against adoption ideas nowadays. In the Bible example, this woman begged God for a child, and He answered her prayer by opening her womb. He did not answer her prayer by her giving her another woman’s child. If a PAP conceives, or even an AMom, do you think she is going to allow her own child to be parented by another family? Not on your life. This does not match the Bible Example.

Ponder also the roles of original mother and child. She came back to the temple each year with gifts for her son. He knew who she was, and she still held the title of Mother to him. Although adoption professionals talk about open adoption, the reality is that there are still millions of adopted people in the United States, and many of them do not know their original Mother. Ponder the international adoptees, who will never be able to find their original Mother, their original family when they become an adult. This does not match the Bible Example.

Some use Ester as a Bible example of adoption. But she does not count as a fresh from the womb infant adoption. She was a true orphan – her mother and father had died and therefore her Uncle cared for her. Notice, it was a relative who took her in, not strangers. And he only did this because she no longer had her mother or father. This is more aligned to the claim of adoption. That claim being to meet the needs of the child. Infant adoption as we know it is not about the needs of the child, it truly is about the adults. The purpose of that infant being adopted is to fulfill a need to the adults. This does not match the Bible Example.

Some use Jesus as an example of adoption. Oh, puhleeze. Jesus grew inside the womb of an unmarried woman. IF God was so big on adoption the conversation between Mary and the Archangle would have gone like this, “Mary. You are an incubator. You will conceive and bear a child. But you are not good enough for the baby you will bring into this world, He deserves more than a poor young girl like you could offer the child; therefore, God wants you to hand this child over to a loving married godly couple who are financially stable, but have been unable to conceive a child of their own. They will shower on the Christ child all the material pleasures available.” But that is not how the conversation went. Jesus was parented by His original mother and step-father.

c.)-their motive was to trap Jesus.
Wow! Motive.

You realize that little phrase could have been left out. But if the Bible lessons show how critical it is to see and understand the motive of the Religious Leaders, then we should do the same with adoption professionals.
Christians really need to start to investigate motives for adoption.
Adoption Agencies definitely have an agenda and a motive. It would be silly to ask a fox why he’s crouched outside the henhouse door. Or to ask a wolf trying to find a way into the sheep pen. In the same way we should not merely accept what the adoption agencies have to say about themselves without investigating it for ourselves.

What do they spend this money on? One thing they do is feed money into an organization named "National Council For Adoption" [NCFA]. This is not a government organization that the name may lead you to believe. This is their self-appointed title. It is an organization that pays legislators to fight laws to continue discrimination against adult adoptees. The whole purpose of NCFA is to keep original birth certificates sealed, and to keep adoptees from knowing and/or finding their original family. Adoption Professionals pay this organization to fight against the rights of the very ones they claim to care about. When and adoptee is an adult, they should be able to decide what is in their best interest, not outdated laws and legislators.

Here are some questions you could search to find answers for.
Money/profit. Is money a motive? Is there a profit involved? Search to find out how many billions of dollars are brought in by adoption professionals.

Some will rebuff the idea of money being a motive because many adoption agencies are non-profit organizations. This again is fool’s gold. Non Profit does not indicate no profit is made. Instead it basically means their income cannot exceed their outgo. In other words, if they make a lot more money than expected one year, everyone gets bonuses, or that sort of thing to re-distribute the money so it is spent; otherwise it would be considered a profit.

If the money is used only to ‘pay for legal fees and services’ then try to explain why there is a price difference among babies of different races. I hope that you will be revolted to find that white babies cost much more than a baby of another race. If adoption costs were merely to cover ‘necessary’ expenses, why aren’t white and black babies the same ‘price’?

If you look at it strictly from a business point of view, it’ll point to the law of ‘supply and demand.’ White healthy fresh from the womb infants are in higher demand, therefore they come with a higher price sticker. I am revolted that price sticker and infant would even be in the same sentence, but that is one of the sides of adoption not talked about. Here is one site that makes some price tags visible for the whole world to see.


It personally makes me think of the slave market. And if you think this idea of ‘price’ does not phase an adoptee, let me know, and I’ll introduce you to adult adoptees who have shared with me their feelings on this very subject. And you can ask them for yourself. I’ve talked to many who know how much their aparents paid for them. Some were given or shown the receipts. Receipts - for human beings?

I’m going to end here, but I hope you will ponder these things. Research things for yourself. Read blogs by Adoptees to hear their own words of how adoption has affected them. Read blogs by Original Mothers to hear their experiences. Check into how much money is made by your own local adoption agency in one year. But please pray that God would allow you to begin to view adoption inline with the principals of His Holy Word, instead of viewing it by society’s unfounded views.


  1. Thank you so much for writing this. It is amazingly refreshing to read this as a Christian adoptee. Bless you!

  2. kinda nice and different reading the green text

  3. I am so tired and wounded really from the huge push for adoption in the Christian community. I'm a Christian, and an adoptee, and just can't seem to find a lot of common ground with my church family where adoption is concerned, the result being that I paste a smile on my face when I am with them and pretend all is fine. It was SO nice to read and know there are others who get it.

  4. Dearest WP,
    I apologize for the delay in posting your comment. I must've missed the e-mail alerting me there was a comment waiting moderation.

    Thank you so much for your comment.
    I'm glad this post resonated with you. I too find it difficult to choke down how readily and BLINDLY christians cling to and promote adoption - without taking the time to understand the inner workings of it.

    I am going to try to refocus on blogging, and hope to have a new post up soon.

    It sounds like you won't have to worry at all about masking your thoughts or pretending here.


  5. Can't seem to find a lot of mutual understanding with my cathedral close relatives where adopting is worried, the outcome being that I insert a grin on my experience when I am with them and imagine all is excellent.